India... an experience I can only begin to grasp.

India... an experience I can only begin to grasp.
We are now in Rishikesh. Nepal was an awesome experience. We just loved it. The people, the mountains and everything that took place was graceful and filled with blessings. India... I would say it's been a fascinating experience for many other reasons quite different from Nepal. Nothing in this part of the trip would in any way ressemble a vacation, but rather an intense, at times ardous and at others flowing journey.
Our first stop was in Varanasi, perhaps not the best way to get to know India, but certainly and interesting one. By 'mistake' (to be generous with the use of the words) I put tea tree in my eye, instead of my usual - and more pleasing I have to say - eye lubricating drops. To my deffense, this was at three in the morning, without light and I was very, very tired. In any case, this put my eye out of service for an entire day, when I was able to open it again, and more importantly the courage to look into the city again. In perspective I would say it was a great way to take time for myself, spend a day in bed listening to music and looking inwardly.
After that we visited Kajuraho, Orchah and after a night in the Delhi train station (a whole experience in itself), we are finally in the north. I like Rishikesh much better than any other place. Perhaps this is a result of many dissapoinments before, whenever I expected to find a more tranquile and specially silent city, only to arrive to endless horns, street chaos and brutal harassment of the rickshawas and whallas.
Here I have managed to seclude myself in a safe, but much more importantly, silent place. I had not noticed up to now in my life how much the constant noise puts me off-balance. As well - I have to admit - that finding a restaurant that offers meals that appeal to my taste, specially raw salads that I dare to eat, has made a significant impact in my appreciation of this area. After this we are going to Delhi and back to LA.
During the lenghy night in the New Delhi train station, we managed to hang in there beyond the inherit intensity of the whole experience. Late at night, there were areas were walking was impossible due to the bodies lying around, and the constat pursuit of people offering to help, and my mind wondering how each wanted to screw me off. This has been for me a sad realization of India. I fear and dread the people that approach me due to my inability to discern good from bad, thus leaving shielded as well from those probably few souls that indeed have good intentions... but how to know?
After 7 hours there, when we finally boarded our train (for which we decided to pay premium and travel in the comfort of first class with AC), as we got to our seat and turned around to load the backpacks in the top luggage rails, in what could have been no more than 5 secods, someone stole my camera, and with it all the graphic memories from India. I ran outside up and down the platform like crazy, but of course found no one that had my camera bag in sight.
I knew before comming that this would be a significant trip for me, and indeed has been in many ways. When I leave this place, I am taking with me the the growth of having become a better photographer. The work I've done here was the best I ever done. I was able to get close to people, to become intimate with them, and how their lives make me feel. I searched and found the light that gave this photos the right colors, the tones and spoke ofthe lives that people in here have to endure with, of their days and carefully noted everything in my trave notebook - which is also gone together with the camera. But after moarning the loss, I am at peace with the fact and the clear intention that this is only the beggining of my work of telling stories through the lens of a camera. Of shedding light and hopefully, in some way contrinuting to a world of greater awareness.
I also leave with the clear reference point that I am at a place in my life, where no matter the experience that is brought forward (and God please be clear that I am not asking for more than anything that is really necessary), I have been able to maintain my peace of mind, as well as connect to my feelings and embrace them (this are perhaps not as well as the balance) ;) I also leave India refreshed and joyful for the realtionship I have with Clara, for how we support each other and grow together. This, and my life in general is a true blessing.
Clara and I talk frequently about how to write about India; about how to make a fair representation of what this experience is all about. At times the difficult things seem many and overwhelming, and yet the posite even though subtle, are profound and longlasting. I hope that by no means my writing throughs anyone off from gifting themselves with a whole new reference point in their lives. Be clear. This is a great trip, a wonderful opportunity, an experience that will forever be with me, and that will change me in ways I can only begin to imagine.
Namaste... Martin.